10 March 2009

My March Trip to Utah

Sometimes when I'm on a flight, I don't mind talking to my flight mates (if I say "mates," do I sound as cool as an Australian?) Like the time last Friday on my way to SLC. This is Heather (a nurse for kids with cancer) and Ryan (helps people in Mortgage crisis). We ROCKED the First Class section on our Southwest flight (which is the first row on the left; didn't cha know?) If only every person on the flight was as cool as us (if only). Doh, like the time eons ago (my early 20's feels like eons)... There was a drunk and dirty man ranting and raving in the terminal prior to boarding. An off-duty policeman offered to let them rearrange seating so he could assist, but the plane was full and we were about to board. I take my seat at the window, an old man took his aisle seat and, of course, the drunk and dirty man sat in the middle! What to do, oh, what to do?! I did the only thing I could get away with... I played deaf. Not that I know how to sign, beyond the alphabet that Annette and I would use across the room during band class, but I CAN not talk (hard to believe, I'm sure)! Sticking my nose into a magazine worked for only a few minutes before he started in on me about how absurd it was that they weren't serving alcohol soon enough (he was set with his miniature bottles, stashed so carefully in his carry-on) and that they wouldn't let him smoke in the "can." I pretended not to notice him talking until he biffed me on the arm to claim my attention. Acting startled, I turned his direction and shook my head while pointing at my ears, motioning to him that I couldn't hear. He seemed puzzled as he asked with slow-moving lips, "Y o u c a n ' t h e a r m e ?" I repeated my earlier response; a shake of my head while pointing at my ears. He "hmph'd" then turned to the old man and started in on him. When it came time for drink orders, I handed the stewardess a piece of paper that said, "Coke, please" and smiled as I nodded my head asking for confirmation that they understood. Drunk and dirty dude blurted to her that I was deaf as the wide-eyed stewardess nodded back to me.

When the flight landed, drunk and dirty dude shot up out of his seat and shoved his way off the plane, exclaiming obnoxiously about how badly he needed a smoke. Suffering through the flight as well, the other passengers let him pass. Upon my approach to exit the plane, the stewardess that brought my Coke motioned toward me as she told the others standing there that I was deaf, pointing to her ear. Slowly she said, "T h a n k s f o r f l y i n g w i t h u s !" Smiling, I replied, "Thank YOU!" As her face froze in shock, I explained that I faked that I was deaf because of drunk and dirty dude.
Some of the labies at our 3 hour Carrabba's luncheon on Saturday... (l-r back: RCola, Azucar, Suedonym, NitzWould, yours truly, b., Compulsive Writer, Geo l-r front: formerly phread, Sister Pottymouth (holding her baby), Gerb, LoDown, pFlower (holding Twisted's baby), Tiffany Twisted (by the way, my arse isn't as big as it looks - it's actually quite cute thankyouverymuch) Carrabba's proprietor, and my buddy, Clay Drinkwater (trust me when I say it pays to know the owner)

Then I stopped by Provo to hang with this fella, Jared Smith (a.k.a. my lil' bro), and help him get ready for his date with Angela (incidentally, we met a couple years ago when he was a waiter at Carrabba's - that's how I roll... does it MATTER where/how you meet a friend?). Man, I look fabulous in this picture, ifIdosaysomyself.

Retired UT County Sheriff, and my Harley Davidson riding instructor, Lance McDaniel (a.k.a. my family - that guy knows how to make me cry at the drop of a dime - I'm such a baby). He runs the service department at the Lindon, UT Harley Davidson, and I ALWAYS stop by to say HI when I'm in town (I didn't even do any shopping this time, darnit). By the way, he really IS smiling, even though you can't tell with the facial hair in the way!

Then some more hot South UT County momma's got together with me for Cafe Rio in Lehi and gabbing. l-r is Tiffany, Linda, Cathy, Anita, yours truly and Amy. It was FREEZING as the camera was on timer, and nobody likes this picture of them - but I DO because they're my friends :) One of my boys, Jared Wardell, who's going to Spain for a couple years :) Jared W's brother, Corey, who's a magnificent (hetero) dancer. Whenever I'm over there, he claims he's my favorite in the family. I usually humor him and agree (he really IS great, of course, even though I stopped paying him by the hour for yard work and started paying him by the job instead). Beautiful Joy, with other peeps on the couch. My old neighbor kid, Chris Weaver, who used to do yard work and other odd jobs for us when we lived there (he's worth every penny - hard worker and amazing person) and the man of the hour, Jared (again). We were giggling all afternoon! Banana woman :) ...in between giggles. Jared and Corey's sister, Jen, and I before the next picture. Jen and I AFTER the previous pose. Oh. My. Goodness. THIS fella is very special to me and he married a SUPER sweet girl and have a super cute daughter with a son on the way! This day was his BIRTHDAY, so I'm glad I was in town to wish him happy happy in person! I heart you, SCHLOPPY! Dedicated readers will remember this hunk, Colby, my fav.

But have you seen Colby's super sweet little brother Myles? Here he is, in all his glory. WHAT. A. SWEETIE! I'm not sure where their sisters were at this moment, because I should've gotten a pic with those gorgeous girls too (beautiful family). And the piece de resistence (say that with your best Fronsh accent), Miss CJane and The Chief! What's weird about this pic is that I almost don't want to post it for fear it makes me look like a CJane blog stalker. So I guess I need to preface the pic with the proof that we're ACTUAL friends, pre-fame (she hates when I say that because she doesn't really feel like she is and I really shouldn't have to feel like I have to prove myself). "Happy favorite birthday, my sweet." Keep The Chief away from me next time because I seriously don't think I can resist taking a juicy bite out of that lil' fella. MmMmMm!


c jane said...

well, now that was fun.

you should try the chief with a slice of gruyere. irresistible.

Geo said...

Bet you felt like a sitcom star on Southwest. You are a model of self-preservation.

I was glad to be part of the belle curve celebrating your good news at Carrabba's . . . !


Donya said...

Playing deaf, now that is brilliant! Love the pics, you look Amazing!

Lisa Best said...

Haha, Oh Shannon... Playing Deaf, aye? I'll have to teach you some sign if you are going to continue on with these shenanigans.