27 September 2007

Personal Space

Through linking a few times, I stumbled across this blog post and found it an interesting read. I can relate to a lot of the points made about personal space and wonder what your thoughts are (that's an open invitation to leave a thoughtful comment about your experiences). Although I haven't analyzed my boundaries as closely as the writer has, I notice there are some people I rarely touch (some of my absolute best friends), others I can't seem to get enough of (Cjane, but who DOESN'T want to touch her - she's like Midas), some I cringe to think they'd touch me "hello" and others (they could be strangers I've never met or spoken to before) I kiss on the cheek as a greeting like it's nothing at all. I am much more affectionate with men than women and kids are welcome to smoosh up to me anytime (hopefully when they're not sticky or messy, hahaha). It's kind of like a cat that rubs itself against people they adore, trying to leave their scent, or is it something else entirely? My mom likes to insist she knows the exact reasons why I turned out the way I did based on my youth but is it as easy as that? My answer is no.

Excerpts from Everytime (which should be Every Time) We Touch by Cascada...
I still hear your voice, when you sleep next to me. I still feel your touch in my dreams. Forgive me my weakness, but I don't know why Without you it's hard to survive. 'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling. And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly. Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last. Need you by my side. 'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static. And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky. Can't you hear my heart beat so... I can't let you go. Want you in my life.
And a little 80's video (I remember singing along to this song and, yes, I am a little embarrassed by that statement)...


c jane said...

Invade my personal space anytime Lucky.

(wink, wink, wink-wink.)

Sarah Anne said...

I'm a bum grabber. Before I was married and became a teacher, anyone was fair game. I worked in the food industry for over 4 years and anyone who's worked at a restaurant knows all the sexual harassment that flies around, but it's too fun to stop. I'd quickly find out who was okay with my gestures and who wasn't, but that still didn't stop me.
Now that I'm married, I'll only grab close girl friends. They know it's my seal of approval.

I'm uncomfortable with mouth kisses from anyone else other than my husband or kids. I feel like Pretty Woman when it comes to that.

I will snuggle with any baby or kid that lets me. I think a hug says so much to a child in the form of encouragement and acceptance.
Was this thoughtful enough?
I think I've revealed too much, so I'll stop here.

pflower10 said...

I am a bid advocate for respecting one's personal space! I am one of those people that like a good 2 feet between me and the person I'm talking to. I used to work with a man that would come inside my 2 ft bubble to talk and I would automatically back up to maintain my 2 ft. Then he would scoot closer and I would back up again. This would go on forever until one day this man had Lasik to correct his eyesight and he doesn't do it anymore (I laugh about that). Could his boundry crossing be the annoying result of bad eyesight? But on the other hand I also have people that I feel comfortable with that I don't care about my bubble. Sometimes it's with people that are still pretty much strangers to me but that I feel close to them for some unexplainable reason. All I know is that my backing up response is not conscious with me. I've tried to control my backing up but my body does it anyway, with or without my permission. And I also tend not to let the "CRAZIES" in (or out for that matter). I reserve the right to post more at a later time!

Bumatay said...

It's weird how with certain people, no matter how friendly they are, I just keep my personal distance away from. And with other people I can be totally all hugs and kisses with. Maybe it's their breath or scent?

Haha I used to be in love with Samantha Fox!

your lisa said...

I'm one of the BFF's that Lucky rarely touches (I knew that the second I read the post). I'm a pretty touchy person but it doesn't bother me that she's not always, I guess I don't notice it much in other people.
I do remember a time when Lucky would run her thumb up people's bum-crack for fun, or lick your cheek (or was it ear licking?), either way, tell me that isn't a personal space issue!

Melody said...

Interesting thoughts . . .

I miss you. You are a good hugger . . . you hang on longer than I normally do and now I'm trying to hang on longer than I normally do when I hug people too.

and I need a family photo. are you coming for a visit any time sooner or later? Does everyone and their dog want you to photograph them when you come?

Lucky Red Hen said...

cjane... I will take you up on that ;o)

Sarah... funny, funny stories (sounds a lot like me, as Lisa has attested).

pflower... I do the same thing with being more comfortable with people who are naturally touchy.

Boo... Thanks for the blog love ;o) I'm laughing thinking that you're fine with the hugs and kisses especially when they're from pretty ladies - yay, another Samantha lover!

Lisa... I don't know what you're talking about. Must mean someone else.

Melody... I'll take your picture, babe ;o) Sometimes I grab on longer because I know that person needs it. Smooches.

luckyzmom said...

I think you're giving me a bum rap.

Lucky Red Hen said...

Luckyzmom... thank you for the comment.

My intention was to explain that we look to the past to find out why we turned out the way we have (in general) but I don't think it's as easy as X + Y = Z. There are too many variables to hit the hammer on the nail.

colinmichael said...

I just got back from shooting in New York City and the first thing I thought when I got off the plane was "WOW! I have never touched so many people I don't know!" Between being crammed on the subway, maneuvering between guests at the wedding and battling the stinky french guy for the arm rest on the plane I have touched a lot of people I don't know! YUCK!
All those who know me realize that I ran out of hand sanitizer well before my trip was done :)