29 March 2006

HELP WANTED: Apply Within

My husband, he's darling. We just celebrated 8 yrs of marital bliss (maybe not ALL 8 yrs) yesterday with dinner at Carrabba's in Orem. He really is terrific... except. Except when it comes to household maintenance. The boy has taught himself how to play guitar (bass, dobro (sp?), mandoline, accordian, drums; pretty much any musical instrument), has invented his own programming language after mastering all the others, started 3 businesses with another by the end of this year and has another side businesses he's working on. But I can't get the guy to pick up a hammer. If only Lydia lived by us with her handy hubby. Last year we had a terrible mouse problem (we're in a new construction area). Yes, they're cute and you feel bad killing them UNTIL you open your kitchen drawer to find TWO, yes 2, of those cute varmints staring up at you as if to say, "Hey, who turned on the lights? We're peeing and pooping in here. Close the damn drawer!" I know that's what they were thinking. In the beginning I ignored it, trying to wish the problem away. If I pretend they're not here, they'll leave (just so you know, mice don't think that way). Until I witnessed one scamper across the floor late at night while I was watching TV and hubby was out of town. THAT was it. I was going to catch that guy no matter what. So I chased it around the room until he ran into the toy room under the stairs. He'd skitter here and there. I'd squeal and squelch then he ran under a big plastic bin and I smooshed it down so he couldn't keep running. I held it there for a while trying to figure out what to do next. In the meantime I'm smooshing the cute thing more and more into the carpet and realize he stopped squirming. I guess I suffocated it because he really wasn't moving when I let up and it's cute little tongue was sticking out and wouldn't go back in. Then panic set in because I didn't know what to do (and I felt bad actually killing a living creature, as germ-ridden and disgusting as it is). So I called my poor neighbor who tried talking me through how to discard it and I told him, "NO, I am not doing that. You're coming over right now and getting rid of it for me!" Bless his heart he did without a complaint (thank goodness for great neighbors). So, back to my hubby's maintenance allergies. I went through the house & garage sealing the cracks and crevases with The Great Stuff foam sealer and haven't had a trace of rodents in months. Until this morning. They chewed my garage door jam and the broken (it's been flopping in our way for months) weather seal along the bottom of the door to get in/out last night. So the kids and I jumped in the car this morning to Home Depot for some rodent retaliation and the ripped off door seal that I have to replace because my hubby won't. I feel like Laura Engel's, running a farm. Bought more The Great Stuff too for the dryer hose that goes outside and to seal up the underside of the kitchen cabinets; just in case they find their way to those places. I shall prevail! Aren't men supposed to do this stuff? BTW: my dog just started her 1st heat (period, for those who aren't canine savvy) today and I forgot that I was supposed to get her fixed about 4 months ago (she's 10 mos). Um, sick.

7 comments:

~j. said...

Ew. Is your dog humping everything?

And EW!!! I can't deal with mice. AT ALL. Our neighbors have had problems occasionally, and I've prayed that our turn for that would never come. So far I've been fortunate. Last fall, though, I saw one run into my garage. I YELLED it back outside. Maybe he'll spread the word.

What did you have for dinner at Carrabba's? Your usual?

compulsive writer said...

I don't mean to sound stalker psycho, but it's like you were reading from my journal that is still only written in my head.

We had mice a few years back and I actually thought they were kind of cute scampering around and I didn't want to be all inhumane so I thought no big deal. Until...they pooped on my quilt fabric and chewed up some homemade Christmas ornaments. (Am I crazy? I wasn't that stressed about having them in my kitchen as long as they kept to under the sink and under the dishwasher, but the quilt fabric--now that was personal!)

So first I think we'll try the glue traps and set the mice free. What was I thinking? 1) You can never ever wash that sticky stuff off of anything and 2). Warning: the following is both sad and graphic--We were out of town for a few days and when we got home we discovered two mice on the same trap and they had been starving to death so they tried to eat each other. Definitely not humane.

So we resorted to the old snap traps. But by that time my husband was out of town elk hunting for the whole week so I had to ask my neighbor to dispose of the dead mice. I just couldn't even look at them. (Lest anyone think I'm a total wimp--I can change my own tire, mow my own lawn and paint my own room, but I absolutely cannot dispose of dead mice.)

And did you know that mice can get through a hole the size of a quarter?

La Yen said...

Ok--first you said Dog period, then a comment was made about quilting, and now I can't stop thinking about your porno quilt. Do you see how my mind works? I love you.

LuckyRedHen said...

~j: Humpers are boys. I've heard of rare instances where girls humped but that's not my dog. If that were the case she'd by outie.

CW: I laughed out loud at the mention of cannibal mice - in a sick kind of laugh though.

If you're a stalker then I am too. Since we're both stalking each other that cancels us out so neither of us are really stalkers. Kapeesh?

J and I smeared PB on 2 traps tonight and set them on the garage door step. He'll be thrilled in the morning to find a treasure. The glue traps didn't work for us; we'd just catch hair and poo. The Decon type stuff the pest control people (waste of $) brought out works great except they eat the stuff, come inside and poop it out then run out to die. I'd like to avoid the running inside and pooping it out part.

La Yen: Thanks for loving me and my porno quilt. You're the best and I could eat Jooj - yum yum yum delicioso!

P.S. The dog is wearing diapers I picked up during my 1st trip to Walmart. She's leaving it on, surprisingly. Called the vet today and he said to fix her during her heat costs more than the $6 I spent on diapers so we'll wait and do it next month.

AzĂșcar said...

I, too, have a non-around-the-house helper. I have to fix everything/be responsible for regular maintenence. I'm not sure J knows which end is the business end of the hammer. He is REALLY good at trying to make things fit into something they're not supposed to (assembling items is a TREAT, let me tell you.)


So nice to have you blogging--FINALLY.

LuckyRedHen said...

I try and leave when my hubby is assembling. I can't handle it - I'm weak. He's smart though ;o)

AzĂșcar said...

I swear, J is just like the Dad from A Christmas Story when it comes to assembling/fixing things.


OOOOooohhh Fffuuuuuddddggggge.